Saturday, February 17, 2007

New crime: Felon in possession of a wiener dog

It's so hard to take our politicians seriously sometimes. OK, it's hard to take our politicians seriously most of the time, but sometimes they are so far out there in "what the hell were you thinking about?" land that it's hard even to pretend to take them seriously.

Now we've got some state legislators with nothing better to do than try to criminalize felons in possession of unfixed dogs.

This is real live, true legislative proposal. Honest. Really. Swear to God. State Sen. Dave Hansen (D-Green Bay) wants to put certain folks in jail if they are in possession of an unspayed cocker spaniel or wiener dog.

Yup, the courts aren't busy enough. Let's load 'em up with this crap.

Hansen's bill starts out by proposing to make possession of a vicious dog by serious felony offenders an offense punishable by a $10,000 fine, imprisonment for up to nine months, or both. So far, so good. Vicious dogs can be weapons and shouldn't be possessed by anyone.

Then Hansen and friends (yes, this thing has co-sponsors) take a reasonable beginning and turn it into something that is one pup short of a full litter. Serious felons, under this bill, wouldn't be allowed to "possess, control or reside" with "intact dogs," which are those pooches more than 12 weeks old that have not been spayed or neutered. It also would require any dogs that hang out with said felonious types to be implanted with a microchip.

Geez, no wonder the Department of Corrections needs that huge budget boost.

Hansen's co-defendants in sponsoring this bill are State Representatives Scott Suder (R-Abbotsford), Sheryl Albers (R-Reedsburg), Alvin Ott (R-Forest Junction), and Terry Musser (R-Black River Falls).

It bites, folks.

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